A few years back, I asked God why he ‘hated’ us, what we had done wrong, but I look back and as painful and hurtful as it has been, today, I am a shoulder of comfort for other women. I get to tell them not to go through certain things. He was preparing me for this!
I just want to share these few things I learnt on our journey of childlessness before we got 3 beautiful boys by his grace;
- Be there for your friends going through this journey of waiting for their blessing. Being there does not mean shoving advice down their throat. What you may not know is that, most are already going through so much trying to look for solutions.
- Do not form an alliance of bodies to discuss what your childless friends are going through
- Hug them, hold them tight!
- Whenever you feel like asking, say good wishes or prayers their way
- Stop asking the ‘when’, ‘how’ and ‘what’ questions
To my sisters/brothers out there going through said issues;
Be each other’s friend, you are a force when you unit
- Find your selves again
- Do not let society or desperate situations lead you to do or go places you will live to regret, my biggest regret till date – is stripping for a group of charlatans to tell me I was spiritually pregnant and they can protect it in a white calico, drank potions and came home to bleed my guts out (thank God my hubby was in the room with me)
- Have fun, laugh, and live life, be happy for others, even for your friends having babies, left, right and centre. Be happy, it opens doors
- When you feel overwhelmed, talk to each other, talk to God, a trusted counselor
- Adopt if you can, there are so many children out there yearning for love
- Hate not, envy not
- Block out every talk or negative feedback
- Be you!