It’s not just gold diggers, arm candy, and chicks with “daddy issues” who like (and can benefit from) dating older. Upping your age bracket expands your dating pool, opens your eyes to experiences and passions you might not have had otherwise, plus you just might get a ring on your finger faster than if you were dating someone your own age.
While cougars are definitely on the rise (just check out AYI.com’s stats) Here are 3 reasons why you should date older:
1. You Can Expand Yourself.
When are you most open to learning new things, getting out of your box, and considering a different perspective? When you’re in love. If you’re dating an older, more experienced, more traveled, more knowledgeable, more worldly, more successful guy, chances are his interests are wider-ranging, he has explored his passions and hobbies, he has met fascinating people and he has become educated in life. So how does all of that relate to you? You can learn from him. An older guy often has vibrant, interesting stories to share and tell. He has a depth of knowledge and expanded interests of people, things, and places and wants to continue to explore them with you. He also likely has the financial resources to go, see, and do… and take you too. But it’s still even more than that. When someone is passionate about something- like art or architecture, music or food, if you invite them to share that passion with you, it can be infectious. So though you may have considered classical music boring, or wine just another drink, talk to someone who has enthusiasm and an experience-based education about it, and suddenly you too will be interested in learning more about it and understanding their passion for it… which can translate to your own passion for it, or at least a deeper, less layman understanding of it.
2. Older Guys Are Ready to Move Forward in their Lives- With You.
Starting a career is SO time-consuming and extraordinarily stressful. Date a guy who is kissing his bosses’ butt and still just barely getting by, or a guy who put his own ass on the line and secured an investor for a million dollar loan to start his own company then only has time for sleep (forget sex) in order to get his baby off the ground, and you truly can’t expect much. If you’re pissed because he can’t make it to your brother’s birthday or he forgot to pick up milk on the way home, get ready for a long road filled with lots of annoyances. Even if you are a “girlfriend” chances are that you’ll feel much more like a booty call, and even that is saying a lot! Career guys often have a certain goal in mind that they need to obtain before “settling down.” Sure they might commit to you before then, they may even marry you, but if he’s a serious career guy and he hasn’t yet achieved his definition of success, you will likely be the mistress to his business. If that’s ok with you- fantastic! But know that you will not be getting all of him.
In fact, there are components to his personality that will be masked because his mind and energy isn’t all there. You may be having a very deep conversation and he seems to be there, present, listening to what you’re saying, nodding his head even… but he’s not there. He’s thinking about the case he’s working on, the contract that he has to write, the client that he has to follow up with, the strategy for the meeting next week. It can be during these years that you start to feel neglected. Your guy isn’t on your same timetable. He’s taking too long to move the relationship forward, to pop that all powerful question! You might be getting antsy, even threatening to give him an ultimatum. But the fact is that you aren’t his priority right now. His work is. And then suddenly, when he’s a bit older and has achieved the success or experiences he felt he needed to before he was ready to commit for life, he “wakes up!”
Some guys work so hard in their 20s, 30s, and sometimes even 40s to obtain that pre-set level of success that suddenly when they have it they almost wake up and realize “wait a second, I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I’m missing out on so much life!” If you happen to be with him when this happens, you will instantly become well aware that you are now his priority. When he is ready to commit, his priorities will be different. They will be you. He will want to spend time with you, talk to you, do everything with you… he might even seem needy!
3. He’s Broken In!
Another thing about older guys that you might not want to think about but will happily benefit from? They just “get” you. That’s because they’ve been with more women and dealt with more attitudes, moods, issues, and emotions. With experience often comes understanding. In other words, he has already been broken in.
Of course, there are exceptions and there are also TONS of benefits for dating younger (their body, looks, energy, vibrancy, potency, enthusiasm, etc)…