Many of the women like to be dominated in bed. And that doesn’t mean just handcuffs and doggy-style; they just prefer him in charge. A great deal of women also like to be the ones directing traffic, and guys love it when they do.
When it comes to sex, balance is best. When it’s between a man and a woman, the power and control ought to be spread out evenly — if that’s what you’re into, at least. However, dominance in sex isn’t always as equally distributed, as we’d all like it to be.
So if you’ve noticed that your man is trying to take the reigns in the bedroom, it’s time to switch sides and take them yourself. Just because he’s got the penis doesn’t mean that he’s got the power.
1.Undress him slowly
There is a noise the button on the fly of a Levi’s 501 jean makes when it pops open. It is the sexiest noise on the planet. When you’re horny, it’s as tantalizing as the “phssst” noise opening a can of soda makes when you’re thirsty. Make him hear every single pop. Or each tooth of his zipper unfasten. He should be able to count his belt loops by how slowly you de-thread his belt through each one. And on and on. The slow undress will leave him at your mercy. It says: “I’m taking my time. And by that I mean we’re taking our time.”
Sometimes it feels nice letting your guy take control during sex. But sometimes, there needs to be a change. Sometimes, he needs to take a backseat on dominance and let you run the show. Luckily, there are plenty of positions to help you do just that.
3.Undress him quickly
Rip those pants down like he’s your virgin prom date and he’s about to get it. Maybe even leave them on, in a heap around his ankles, as you take him in your mouth. Rip his shirt off. Or better yet, tell him, “get that shirt off” while you work on the pants. This tactic, what’s known as the “assault deshabiller” in the French foreign legion is an opposite, but equally effective way to let him know you’re in charge as number one. He’ll be like “Whoa! What’s happening here? Guess I better go along with it before I get…”
4.Ride ‘em, cowgirl
Why let the cowboys have all the fun? In this position, you can let your man lay back and enjoy the ride, because a ride is precisely what he’s about to get. You’re in complete control, and if he tries putting his own spin on things, you just tug on those reigns. This one’s for the good and the bad, but it’s far from ugly
Who says your butt is the only one that needs some firm, loving, open-palmed attention. Get him alert with a quick smack (and maybe a squeeze) on his naughty butt. It will make him prick up and take notice. And his shock will leave him open to a friendly shove on to the bed that says “it’s go time.”
Use it as a lever, use it to balance, use it to just let him know he’s doing the right things. Whichever way you choose to use it, grabbing some fist-fulls of his mighty mane, while he’s on top, or while going down on you, is a way to tell him that you’ll be guiding things, thank you very much.
Let your man take a seat. He’s had a long day. He needs a rest. So (with his clothes off first, naturally), let him lounge while you climb on top of him to give yourself the ride of your life. In this case, one man’s throne is another woman’s vehicle.
This is like dirty talk, but a lot less “Yeah, you know I love it when you….” And a lot more “Get your big —- in my tight —- right now. Do it!” And “Eat my —-” “You know how I like it!” It’s all imperatives. Lets him know that the sexy train will be running on time, and that you are the conductor
A precursor to dictator talk and hair pulling, is to be naked when he shows up. It’s is the subtlest of all the ways you take charge. Without a word, or a single action towards him, you’re letting him know that it is time to enjoy the pleasures of your body. Maybe you have some candles lit; maybe you’ve “just gotten out of the shower,” maybe you’re wearing a fun spy coat with nothing underneath. It’s up to you.
10.Tie him up
This is so much easier than it sounds. You don’t need to have sailed as a kid, and you don’t need a book on ropes. If you’re at the point where you really want to restrain each other so there’s no chance of movement then yes, there are some knots and materials that will work better than others, but if you’re just looking to take charge for some Me-First sex play, you can use one of his old ties, or even a bandana. The key is in how you tell him what’s happening. You can either order him to put his hands behind his back, or on top of his head, or try purring the same directions in his ear, and then tying him up nice and slowly before you have your way with him.
This is more for people in relationships or having very regular sex with the same person; and that’s not a judgment, you just need to have excellent radar for when your guy is going to come. When a man gets to this point, that’s when he’s most vulnerable. The longer you teeter him on that edge, the more tantlaizing your requests and actions will become. If you’re giving him a blow job, or handjob, try moving your mouth off his head, and keeping your hand gestures/pumps at the very base of his shaft, where it’s least sensitive. If you’re having sex and you’re on top, try moving as slow as humanly possible, or even not moving your body at all (or letting him move his) and letting your interior muscles do the only work.
Going after your guy like a hungry badger is a great way to put his off his regular game, and let him know that he’s dealing with a fierce little wood creature, not some passive little lamb.
Don’t let him get lazy on you. Have him prop a leg up while he’s laying down so you can face away from him and hold onto his leg for support. Riding him will be extra simplified with his leg serving as a balancing tool.
This position doesn’t necessarily give you total control, but instead splits the control 50/50. However, you’ll find that the more effort you put into blowing him, the more effort he’ll put into returning the favor. You can’t get more reciprocal than 69ing.
Now, here is a position for only the bravest men. Not every guy will be down with having you f*ck him, but you’ll be surprised. Most people are up for some freaky experimenting, so if he’s down, you’ll get the chance to be the one pulling the penetrative shots.
When it comes to controlling your partner, there doesn’t always have to be a position involved, necessarily. In fact, the lack of a position can be even more empowering. Sometimes, all you really need to do is tease your man and keep him waiting until you’re ready for more.
Honestly, when it comes to control, it’s all about how you feel and what you like. Even if he’s “technically” in control, it doesn’t mean you’re not the one directly benefitting from it. So, yes, experiment. But don’t feel like you don’t have control as long as you’re getting what you want.